I’m plagued by fear in my work life. Scared to hell sometimes. We all are I gather even if we say we’re not. Fear is a natural emotion it shows we care about our lives. But life and personal fear aside for now it’s my fear as a creative which I’m focusing on today. In my work, my self confidence, my decision making and my ability as a creative, fear, is an annoying little ghost always by my side.
Over thinking really doesn’t help
My main problem is I’m an over-thinker. Even now I’m over thinking about an email I sent to a client over an hour ago. Will they like my work? No… they don’t like it! No… it’s late they’re just busy. Nope… they’re gonna fire me and that’s my reputation in tatters. The little ghost won’t shut up about that email this evening. I’m hoping that writing this article will drown out some of the noise. Still, tapping away on my keyboard it’s an all to familiar feeling that I can’t shake and makes me question everything.
…You either succeed or you learn and I like that notion.
Am I really cut out for this?
Yes. I believe I am. Truly, even with my little ghost saying I’m delusional. Maybe I am a little bit delusional. But hey, I’m a dreamer and have a drive and a mindset to keep on going. I know I’m not going to hit the ground running every time and I will mess up. But as some people say, you either succeed or you learn and I like that notion.
Hi heard back!
It’s all good. Yep despite the taunts of the ghost it’s all good with the client. So what’s the point of worrying? What is fear? Jim Carrey says “…that fear is going to be a player in your life. But you get to decide how much”. With that in mind I’m accepting fearas part of the creative process. As I said I’m plagued by fear. Everytime I start a new job, everytime I have to justify my reasoning and thinking, everytime I have a bad drawing day, fear is there. I know that in myself and while it can be hard to see the wood through the trees, I press on. I jump on with both feet, grab the ghost by the hand and ride out the situation with fear. As Mr Carrey says, fear is going to be there.
Personally I can’t be totally fearless, but I can certainly try with fear to fear it less.
So in conclusion…
Call it fear, call it imposter syndrome, call it whatever, it’s a part of your life whether you like it or not. Embrace your ghost and realise it’s part of life but ultimately don’t let it stop you doing what you love. Fear shows you that you care. Personally, I can never be totally fearless, but I can certainly try with fear to fear it less.